How to Choose an Executor for Your Estate

Why the Executor Decision Matters More Than You Think

Your executor will run a 6–18 month project with personal liability attached — file Form 706 within 9 months of death, publish the creditor notice to start a 3–7 month claim clock depending on state, and prudently invest estate cash the whole time. That's a part-time job with legal teeth. A bad executor can turn a routine $500,000 estate into a three-year fight, drain $20,000+ in fees defending bad decisions, and permanently fracture family relationships along the way.

The role is more demanding than most people realize. The executor is a fiduciary, which means they have a legal duty to act in the best interest of the beneficiaries—not in their own self-interest.

They can be held personally liable for mistakes, such as distributing assets before all debts are paid, investing estate funds improperly, or failing to file tax returns on time. The executor must be organized, trustworthy, financially competent, and willing to dedicate significant time to the role.

This guide will help you evaluate your options and make a choice that sets your family up for success. For more detail on what the executor role entails, see our guide on executor fees explained, and use our Executor Fee Calculator to understand what compensation the executor may be entitled to in your state.

What an Executor Actually Does

The executor’s responsibilities begin immediately after your death and continue until the estate is fully administered—a process that typically takes 6 to 18 months. In the first weeks, the executor must locate the original will, file it with the probate court, petition for appointment, arrange the funeral (if no one else has), secure your property, and begin identifying your assets and debts. They must also notify government agencies, financial institutions, and creditors of your death.

During the middle phase of probate, the executor manages the estate’s assets, invests cash prudently, pays ongoing expenses (mortgage, property taxes, insurance, utilities), publishes the required creditor notice, evaluates and pays valid creditor claims, prepares and files income tax returns (both the deceased’s final personal return and any estate income tax return), and manages the sale of any real estate or other assets that need to be liquidated. If the estate is large enough, the executor must also prepare and file a federal estate tax return (Form 706) within nine months of death.

In the final phase, the executor prepares a detailed accounting of all income, expenses, and distributions, obtains court approval (or beneficiary consent) for the accounting, makes final distributions to the beneficiaries, and petitions the court to close the estate. Throughout this entire process, the executor must communicate with beneficiaries, respond to their questions, and manage any disputes that arise.

It is a significant commitment, and whoever you choose should understand the scope of what they are agreeing to. For more on the overall process, see what to do when someone dies.

Qualities to Look for in an Executor

Organizational skills are paramount. The executor will manage dozens of tasks, deadlines, and documents simultaneously.

If the person you are considering cannot keep track of their own bills and appointments, they are not a good choice for managing an estate. Financial literacy matters too—the executor does not need to be a CPA, but they should be comfortable reading bank statements, understanding investment accounts, and working with tax professionals.

Trustworthiness is non-negotiable. The executor will have complete access to the estate’s assets, and the temptation to self-deal (paying themselves excessive fees, borrowing from the estate, favoring themselves in distributions) is real.

Choose someone whose integrity you trust absolutely. Geographic proximity is also worth considering—while not strictly necessary, an executor who lives in the same state as the probate court can attend hearings, access the property, and manage local tasks without the time and expense of travel.

Emotional resilience is an underappreciated quality. The executor must make difficult decisions—selling the family home, denying a beneficiary’s request, resolving conflicts among siblings—while potentially grieving themselves.

They must be able to separate their emotional reactions from their fiduciary duties. If you have a family member who is loving and well-intentioned but tends to avoid conflict or make decisions based on emotions rather than facts, they may not be the right choice.

Family Member vs. Professional Executor

Most people name a family member as executor—typically a surviving spouse, an adult child, or a sibling. The advantages are obvious: family members know the deceased’s wishes, have personal relationships with the beneficiaries, and often serve without compensation (or at a reduced fee). Many executors waive their fee entirely, especially spouses, which saves the estate money.

But family executors have downsides. They may lack the legal and financial expertise needed to administer the estate properly.

They may be too emotionally involved to make objective decisions. And when one sibling is named executor over others, it can create resentment and conflict—the other siblings may perceive favoritism, question decisions, or suspect misconduct. These dynamics can destroy family relationships and lead to costly litigation.

Professional executors—corporate trustees (like bank trust departments) and licensed private fiduciaries—bring expertise, objectivity, and neutrality. They know the probate process, the tax rules, and the investment standards.

They do not have family conflicts of interest. But they are expensive: professional executor fees generally run 1% to 3% of the estate value depending on state law and court approval, which can be significant for larger estates.

They are also impersonal—they do not know your family, your wishes, or the stories behind the assets. Professional executors are best suited for large or complex estates, families with significant conflicts, and situations where no family member is willing or able to serve. See executor fee schedules by state: New York, California, Florida.

Co-Executors: Benefits and Pitfalls

Some people name two executors (co-executors) to serve together, typically two children. The theory is that co-executors provide checks and balances, share the workload, and ensure that no single person has unchecked authority. In practice, co-executor arrangements often create more problems than they solve.

The core issue is that most states require co-executors to act unanimously—meaning both must agree on and sign off on every decision. If the co-executors disagree about whether to sell the house, how to invest the estate’s cash, or when to make distributions, the estate grinds to a halt. Either co-executor can effectively veto the other’s decisions, and the only recourse is to petition the court to break the deadlock—a time-consuming and expensive process that benefits no one except the attorneys.

If you are considering co-executors, think carefully about the relationship between the people you are naming. Siblings who get along well and communicate openly may function effectively as co-executors.

Siblings who have a history of conflict, competition, or mistrust will almost certainly clash. A better alternative may be to name one executor and one alternate (who steps in only if the primary executor is unable or unwilling to serve), or to name one executor and give the other a role as a trust protector or advisor with limited veto power over specific decisions. The AARP guide to choosing an executor offers additional perspective.

What to Tell the Person You Choose

Never name an executor without discussing it with them first. Being named executor in someone’s will and only finding out after they die is a deeply stressful surprise—and the person may not want the job.

Have an honest conversation about what the role involves, how much time it will require, and what compensation they can expect. Give them the opportunity to say no. It is far better to name a willing executor now than to discover after your death that your chosen executor declines to serve.

Provide your chosen executor with practical information they will need: where to find the original will, the names and contact information of your attorney and financial advisor, a list of your major assets and debts, the location of important documents (deeds, titles, insurance policies, tax returns), and your wishes for funeral and burial arrangements. Some estate planning attorneys provide a “letter of instruction” template that organizes all this information in one place.

Update your executor decision periodically. Relationships change, people move, health declines, and circumstances evolve.

Review your executor choice every three to five years, or whenever a significant life event occurs (divorce, estrangement, incapacity of the named executor, birth of a grandchild who might be a better choice). See the ACTEC executor guide for practical resources on executor selection and preparation.

How to Change Your Executor

Changing your executor is straightforward: you execute a new will or a codicil (a formal amendment to your existing will) that names a different executor. The new document supersedes the old one. A codicil must be signed with the same formalities as a will (typically, signed in the presence of two witnesses), and it should specifically reference the will it is amending and clearly state that the previous executor designation is revoked and replaced.

If you have a revocable living trust in addition to a will, make sure the successor trustee designation in the trust is also updated. The executor handles probate assets, while the successor trustee handles trust assets—these can be the same person or different people, but they should be coordinated. If you are changing executors because of a family conflict, consider whether other provisions of your estate plan also need updating.

If the estate is already in probate and you (as a beneficiary) want to change the executor, the process is more complex. You must petition the court for removal of the current executor, which requires demonstrating specific grounds such as breach of fiduciary duty, incapacity, or conflict of interest.

See our guide on beneficiary rights in probate for more on the removal process. For guidance on probate bond requirements that may apply to a replacement executor, see our dedicated guide.